Twitter is a great place to discover other parents going through the same absurd adventures as you. I hope you not only laugh at these tweets each week, but also follow their authors on Twitter. Enjoy:
I taught my toddler how to put me into time out and I’m basically the smartest parent on the planet.
— Courtney Christine (@Discourt) October 19, 2014
HOLDEN: I’m sick because I want to watch TV. As long as we’re being honest… ME: I’m letting you watch because I need an F’ing break.
— Baby Sideburns (@BabySideburns) October 20, 2014
At a parent–teacher conference for my oldest. At what point do I stop worrying if the teacher likes me and knows that I’m smart?
— Nicole Leigh Shaw (@NicoleLeighShaw) October 22, 2014
4yo: I know Spanish Me: You know a little Spanish 4yo: I know all of the colors in Spanish except for the ones I don’t know #FlawlessLogic
— Jen Simon (@NoSleepInBklyn) October 22, 2014
After repeatedly doing the intl sign for ‘roll the car window’ down to my 9yo, I realized he has no clue what a window crank is-also I’m old
— Susan McLean (@NoDomesticDiva) October 21, 2014
Euphemisms for alcohol that we use in front of the kids: — Daddy Juice — Grown-up Cheers Drink — That — Alcohol
— Lev Grossman (@leverus) October 25, 2014
And here’s a shameless attempt to promote some of my own tweets from this week:
My toddler has a bedtime. I just never know what it is until he falls asleep, wakes up & falls asleep again for the 2nd, 3rd & 4th time.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 24, 2014
I want to see a TED talk about keeping a toddler’s attention. But the audience must be all toddlers so I can see how soon the speaker quits.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 23, 2014
Why am I still using a baby monitor? If my baby can’t figure out how to Skype, he’s already way behind his peers.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) October 21, 2014
